Martha or Maxine?
Martha:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!
Martha:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine:
Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!
Martha:
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'
Maxine:
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'
Martha:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine:
Celery? Never heard of it!
Martha:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.
Martha:
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!
Martha:
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine:
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Martha:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine:
Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!
A friend sent this to me. I was reading it, laughing and then thought about the left over egg whites and wine in my freezer, and the fact that I reaching for a pen to jot down the tips about lime for headaches and potato to mop up excess salt..... hmmm.... I am most definitely a Martha!
