Body Dysmorphia!

I don't know if I have mentioned this, but I think I have a touch of body dysmorphia.
Not the type where I think I'm fat/ugly but the type where I actually think that I look thinner than I really am.
I was on a course just before Christmas - on presentation skills - and we were filmed so that we could look at how we present to an audience. When they played the film back, rather than critique my presentation technique (I thought I was rather good, actually!) I spent the whole time cringing at how enormous I was! When I get dressed and look in my mirror, I see a large but "ok" person. On the tv screen (ok so it was wide screen) I looked MASSIVE. And my face! I looked like a doughboy.

Anyway, not to labour on it, because I am addressing this situation, but I wanted to record it for posterity, should I be tempted not to eat sensibly! If I had balls, I'd upload some footage of the DVD that the course instructors kindly gave me to bring home. But I think that is a step too far.

We were chatting about doughboys today. When we were kids, my nana would make us dough and we'd spend ages at the dining table playing with it. We'd make teddies, and "dough boys" as my nan called them. Dumpy looking shapes, with eyes punched out with matchsticks. Ah, the nostalgia! No need for fancy games when you've got imagination and a nana who'll make you a lump of dough.

Mum has been here for the weekend. Having her here on her own is starting to feel a bit more "normal". We had a nice time.

So, one week of The Diet is complete. It's gone well. Of course I didn't get weighed at the outset so I can't report progress in numbers to you. But I'll try a suit on tomorrow and see if it's fitting any better.

I do feel better for eating well. Next I need to tackle my gymphobia. I wish I could get back in that mindset of loving the gym and wanting to go all the time.

Instead, I find a series of highly inventive excuses (not) to avoid it. They include:
"I've got work to finish"
"I need to clean up"
"I have to make dinner"

Spot the smokescreen.

p.s. I hit my record of 572 on Germ Buster tonight!