Back home for the weekend

Roy and I came home on Saturday (yesterday). I had mixed feelings leaving mum. On the one hand I know she needs some time and space to grieve. On the other hand I'd like to protect her from that. But I can't.

I've spent a fair bit of time the last week starting to organise Dad's paperwork and financial affairs. I'll be back with Mum early next week to do some more. Then Lorraine and I will need to sort out Dad's room. He wanted it doing quite quickly after his funeral - I think 4 days was his order! So we'll try to do it on Tuesday. See - I'm still doing as I'm told, LOL!

I find that I'm getting angry about Dad's death from time to time. Something I never felt much during his illness. I resent his passing at 68 years of age. Way too early. I resent him having horrible wounds from pressure sores and the laparoscopy. I resent him not being given a chance of fighting his cancer. I guess that is all part of the mourning process?

I thought of something last night - I knew that before he died, Dad had made a couple of references which made us think he was going to pass on the Wednesday. One was when the Carers came and he refused a bed bath, saying "I'll have a good wash on Wednesday". I remembered the second thing... he was watching TV and there was an advert for a pulsating toothbrush. Dad looked at me, amused, and said "A toothbrush has a pulse". I laughed and said that I had one like it at home. "Is it any good?" He asked me. I said yes, it made your mouth feel nice and clean. "I'll have one of those on Wednesday" he said. I said I'd go out and buy him one and he asked how much they cost. I told him there was a wide price range but that I'd buy him the best and he shook his head and rolled his eyes. Ever price conscious, my dad!!!

Of course, he never got the toothbrush.

So, we ate curry with Gary and Renee last night. Roy drove so I drank too much beer and feel a bit groggy today.

This morning I went to Tesco and after getting there realised I'd left my debit card at home. So had to come back for it. .... Roy was out at the gym or I'd have asked him to bring it up for me!

This afternoon I've blogged and done very little else. I need to sort myself out for this week ahead.

I need to sort out my head for job hunting.