This is an email sent to my sister from the son of mum's best friend in Los Angeles. It is very moving. Mum's friend passed away two years ago.
I'm very sorry for you and your family's loss. Your dad was a great man, husband and father. Although it is a great loss, we have all been lucky to know him and your family. My mum and dad have held your family in the highest esteem and they have been great friends for many years. I know life doesn't seem fair right now but keep this in mind: you were lucky to have a great dad who became a great friend to his kids. If you look around there are not many as fortunate as you. You have been a great daughter to him and that as we all know is the greatest reward to any parent. I love your mum and dad and thank them for the joy they brought in their friendship to my family and it will never be forgotten. Take care of your mum; she is a very special lady. All our love.
There is a lady (Jac) who posts on the Macmillan Cancer Support site. She's going through a tough time as her husband has recently found out he has cancer and she writes about it in such a beautiful, eloquent style. She can also be very funny. This section of one of her posts (about creating and cherishing memories) really hit home with me... I read it last night and wanted to reproduce it here, as it sums up how I have felt about things but wasn't able to articulate!
I watch life through eyes that I didn’t know I had, each small thing becoming an immeasurable moment, filed to my memory.
It’s not the big things, no grand gestures, just kissing the children goodnight, a smile across the table, walking around the garden, sitting in the play park, hot breath beside me in bed, listening to the pipes creek, I wish I could have seen and heard no felt all of this such a long time ago and not have wasted so much of our lives on things that really didn’t matter.
My life, as is yours, is with the person we love so much, that we don’t want to miss a moment.
Like watching an unbelievable sunset, daring it to stay all night, but knowing it will fade. There is an uneasy peace, and yes I really do think it’s our bodies compensating. Like the blind man who develops amazing hearing. Our senses are now so finally tuned it takes so little to make a memory.
I hope that whatever your and my outcomes may be, that we can remember all of these, holding them close just in case we need them.
I don’t, though I hate it, want to change what has happened to us!
I've been re-reading some of the emails I got from friends while Dad was in his last week, and after he passed. The sentiments are so lovely. But even more so, it has got me thinking about the power of positive thought and of prayer. I had people across the world, most of whom I have never met, sending their prayers and good thoughts to us as a family. At one point, I felt well, something is surely helping us get through this time so peacefully. Was it the energy in those thoughts and prayers? Who knows.... but I choose to think that it contributed. After all, if we can't believe that, then what is the point of even bothering to think about people in their times of trouble?
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