A reflection on Keith's special qualities from his children: Jan, Lorraine and Neil. Read at his funeral service by his son-in-law, Lorraine's husband Paul.
Our Dad always wanted the very best for us, and through his life he worked hard to give us everything. Not material things, but the best possible start in life through a solid family upbringing. He was keen that we had a good education, enjoyed robust health and went forward in life with a strong work ethic. Dad didn't always have some of those things as he grew up. He was so proud of his family and our collective achievements.
In his working life, Dad was great at any job he did, he was self disciplined and always like to plan and organise his work well. He used these skills in his personal life too and even wrote a detailed schedule of events for us to follow on the morning of Lorraine's wedding, for example: 9am – collect flowers, 10am – collect cake etc. He even allowed himself a 15 minute slot for sunbathing!!
On his retirement, his personal letter from Securior said, and I quote "thank you for your loyal service and for the conscientious way in which you have carried out your duties during your 18 years with us". High praise indeed. Little did they know that he was spending 3 hours in the swimming pool, jacuzzi and steam room at Swinton baths every Friday afternoon. But that was dad - he found a way of working things to everybody's advantage - it was always give and take.
Dad had an incredible knack of engaging people… and as you will all know Dad loved to talk, but he also liked to listen and was fascinated to learn about people and their lives.
Dad always wanted to pass away in summer so that people could wear bright clothes at his funeral. He didn't want people in black. He wants you all to celebrate his life, and we think he's given us plenty of material. In fact, if he'd had his way you'd all have danced into the Crematorium behind a New Orleans Jazz Band! But we didn't think Widnes was quite ready for that.
We would like to share with you just a few of our many special personal memories of Dad..
Jan says that: As a child, I always remember feeling safe and secure when I was holding my big strong dad's hand. There is no greater feeling in life that you can give to a child. And even when I grew up, Dad was there for me. For my first day of work, aged 16, Dad bought me a new handbag and promised to drive me into work. This followed on from a tradition he set when I was 11 and he bought me a briefcase for starting at Grammar School. Unfortunately it was a bright orange bag which didn't go with my new black suede work shoes, but I put aside my vanity and felt proud as Dad drove me to work in his bright orange Van. As he dropped me off he wished me luck, gave me a pound for my lunch and told me to get a steak in the Berni Inn. I'm pretty sure that even in 1979 a steak cost more than a pound! A simple memory, I know, but one which summed up Dad's care of me and pride in me very strongly.
Lorraine says:
Dad used to take great delight in trying to embarrass me. He would often take us to Dovecot Swimming Baths on a Sunday morning but on one particular Sunday dad felt the need to include religion into the order of the day. Driving along Pilch Lane, at about 10 miles per hour below the speed limit, he wound the car window down and proceeded to sing the whole of ‘Onward Christian Soldiers" loudly to all the passers by – oh the shame, though secretly I was highly amused.
I will always remember with great fondness how each year on my birthday dad and I would take a special trip, just the two of us, to Lewis’s. Dad would take me to the toy department to choose a birthday treat and we would follow that with tea and a bun in the café. It made me feel very special and when only a few years ago I was asking Jan and Neil if they loved doing it too they looked at me very bemused , at which stage mum had to intervene and confess that that was my special treat as dad felt sorry for me being "piggy in the middle".
Neil says: One of my favourite memories of Dad is when he would round up all the kids on Palmwood Avenue, pile us into the van - yes, the big orange one - and take us all out to the Park, or if we were really lucky to Formby Beach for the day. Before the beach trips, once Dad had done a head count of my mates - usually about half a dozen - he would instruct mum to make up a sandwich order and pack plenty of drinks. As we ran ourselves ragged on the beach, Dad would indulge in one of his favourite pastimes... sitting patiently, watching the world go by.
Dad was also a much loved grandad by all his 5 grandchildren, he is affectionately known as Great Big Grandad by the younger ones and he certainly was great. A friend of ours says that the word love is spelt by children as T.I.M.E. – this was so true as far as dad was concerned. He would often take the grandchildren out for traditional trips to the sand dunes at Formby, a play on the swings at sherdley park, a swim at the baths and even on magical mystery tours around the areas in which he grew up, plus many more fun days out. One of their favourite trips was to Eureka Children's Museum in Halifax, which always included a picnic in the stationery train outside. We know for sure these trips have created special memories in our childrens hearts and thank Dad for this.
Throughout 45 years of marriage Dad was soft as anything with our Mum - although sometimes he would like to pretend that he was in charge! Seriously though, this was a true partnership and our mum and dad were a strong couple who looked out for each other and us. In fact, it is unusual for us kids to speak about our Dad without mentioning mum in the same breath. So we want to acknowledge our mum, Teresa, for the strength and courage she showed as she cared for Dad so lovingly. Not just on his final journey, but all through their life together and especially when Dad fought his many health battles.
For many people, spending their final five months of life in bed would make for a very negative experience. But not Dad. Once he got his head round the situation, he and we, chose to fill his time with love, laughter and positivity. And of course his precious newspapers and tv.We didn't just reminisce on old memories - we created new ones that we will treasure forever. Dad never lost his fantastic sense of humour during his illness. There isn't time this morning to share all the stories, many of them hilarious, with you - but collar us in the pub later and we will be happy to do so. And also during this time we all learned so much - about ourselves, about life, and about our Dad. Dad drew on all the strength he could muster to handle his illness with enormous strength, dignity and grace and he made it so easy for his family and friends during this time.
Our final gift to Dad was to support him and care for him as he had for us all through our lives.
Keith Alman was a man who truly loved his family and friends - and he showed this through his actions, not just words.
'Say not in grief 'he is no more' but live in thankfulness that he was'.
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