Conversation with my Dad tonight. As best I can remember it.
Dad: Jan, have you and mum and Lorraine talked about the funeral at all?
Me: No, not really.
Dad: Ok. Well, what I want is something really simple. I want you to get the least expensive coffin you can find - they'll cover it over, and it's going up in flames anyway, so don't go mad and get one of those big fancy things.
Me: Ok
Dad: And I was thinking about Birchfield Crematorium. A short and simple service. For music I'd like Mario Lanza's I'll Walk With God. I know I've talked about music before but you can't have too many songs so just that one please.
Me: What about your Mahalia Jackson, Lord's Prayer?
Dad: Well not everybody likes that.
Me: I like it.
Dad: Do you? It's a bit long isn't it? I think they only really have music going in and coming out, and it's a bit much for people to have to sit through too much.
Me: Well we can ask and find out if there's a way of fitting it in somewhere appropriate.
Dad: Oh, ok then. See what they say. Then, if you, Neil or Lorraine want to get up and say a few words, then that would be fine. But keep it short and sweet.
Me: Yes, we would like to have our own words.
Dad: And then onto somewhere like the Church View for a drink and a little buffet. And you can all have a good laugh together.
Me: Well you've given us plenty of laughing material over the years Dad - so you can be sure it will be celebration of that.
Dad: I don't know if you can pick your time, but try for something near to mid-day so you can go straight onto the pub.
Me: Ok.
Dad: I'm not being mean, but I just think it's ridiculous the amount of money that some people spend on funerals.
Me: Yes, it's crazy. We won't do that, Dad. We'll keep it simple if that's what you want.
Dad: Yes. Do you think Mum will be ok with that?
Me: Yes, I do. When I said we haven't discussed your funeral, then I meant we haven't really planned anything in great detail. But from a few little conversations we've had then I know your thinking is exactly in line with what Mum was thinking of.
But I think she'd like to chat it through with you to make sure you both understand each other.
Dad: Yes, well when she feels up to it.
Me: Ok. So - you still want nobody wearing black then?
Dad: Oh no, no black. No black ties. Nothing like that. And family flowers only - if anybody else was thinking of sending any, maybe they'd like to make a donation to charity instead.
Me: Yes, that's a nice idea.
Dad: And you can go through the phone book and...
Me: Don't worry Dad, we'll make sure that everybody is contacted.
Dad: George will tell a few of the lads - there's one or two who might like to come along - or you could ring Jimmy Wynn directly.
Me: Ok. Don't worry. We'll sort it. So - you decided against the Jazz Band then?
Dad: Oh yes - unless the lottery numbers come up tomorrow.
Me: Mum will be pleased - I think she thought a Jazz Band would be a bit much for Widnes!!
Dad: Well you can buy everyone the first drink and then tell them they can have another one on the house if they'll listen to Sing Sing Sing.
Me: I'll tell them they're lucky - if you'd had your way they'd have been dancing behind a New Orleans Jazz Band all day!
Dad: Laughs. Will you have a word with mum about this?
Me: Of course I will.
Dad: She's probably heard us anyway, knowing her ears.
I walked into the lounge and mum had heard. She was crying. We had a chat about it and she was fine - just said that despite having had conversations about funeral music etc. with Dad in the past, that was before it was real.
I told you Dad was in organising mode recently!
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