"Things are just getting worse...."

Ahh.. I am writing this up retrospectively as I just did some notes in draft form and now I'm trying to fill in the gaps.


We didn't have a good night last night with Dad. He was up at ten to six (still feeling a bit hot) and so I offered him paracetomol... as soon as he took them he threw up again.

About 7-ish (after I'd gone back to bed) I heard mum in his room talking to him. He was telling her about a dream he'd had, which had unsettled him. He'd mentioned it to me but I wasn't really thinking much of it, but it clearly had got to him. He asked mum to stay with him and hold his hand. She sat in there for over 2 hours! She said everytime she felt he'd gone to sleep, she would gently move her hand away and he'd grip it back, quickly. I guess he was just feeling that way out, which isn't like my dad.

So, mum came in to my room about 9 and I was still dozing (hadn't gone to bed until late, and been up a few times). Felt really lazy!

Dad's dream had been something to do with people waiting for him to cook them food - burgers, poached eggs, roast beef and yorkshire lamb (sic). And at the same time he was trying to find them rooms somewhere. Strange.... he said later that he didn't know why he was worrying about other people all the time!

Went to do mum's shopping late morning and then planned to head off home mid-afternoon. Paul, the District Nurse came about 2-ish so I stayed to help him. For the first time, I actually saw Dad's wound site from his pressure sore (without any dressings). It was horrendous. I had heard how deep it was, but still shocked when I saw it. I could get my fist in there, easily.
Paul asked was I used to it - I told him no, never seen it before in all it's glory. No wonder he's in pain when he moves round the bed.

Paul tested Dad's urine and it was clear of infection. Mind you he wasn't as sweaty or shaky today so maybe it was just a one off.

So, the plan to head home early was scuppered slightly when Dad started throwing up again - he'd had some painkillers after the Nurse had finished. I stayed in with him (he asked if I didn't like it, cos I stayed at the end of the bed!) and Lorraine phoned the Macmillan Nurse to see if there were any drugs he could try other than the Stemetil (which made him gag and balk when he tried to take them). Before long, Macmillan had phoned back to say that Dr Tseung was on the premises (they're based at Halton Haven Hospice) and he'd prescribed Buccastem. This tablet is placed between the lip and the gum and doesn't need swallowing. So we'll give that a try.

After being sick again Dad had a little moan that "Things are just getting worse". Bless him, I couldn't help but think that they aren't ever going to get better for him, are they? He said he didn't know what his body was trying to tell him :- vomiting, bleeding from his stomach (this is slightly dramatic on Dad's part as it was only a little nick from the injection!) and
Dad decided he shouldn't eat again if he was going to keep being sick - let's hope these tablets work!

Left mum's before 4. Home just after 5 as the traffic was pretty light. I'd promised Roy I'd try to get to the Doctors with him as he'd had some blood tests taken (feeling tired and crappy all the time) and his results were back. As I parked up outside the Docs, he came walking round the corner. We got straight into see Dr Grewel - a really nice man. He ran through all the tests and confirmed that everything was normal. But he didn't just leave it there... he wanted to chat to Roy about his sleep patterns, when he felt tired, all sorts of detail. I decided to mention our personal situation - that I'm away all week. At this point I saw the lightbulb go on in the Doc's head! He quickly caught onto this and after some more probing (mental not physical!) he and Roy agreed that Roy was probably just feeling a bit low because of that. Doc's words "You're just going through a tricky patch, and you're there for each other and will get through it. Don't ask me for tablets for this, because I won't give them".

He also declared that Roy was probably a "bit depressed". But on the assessment scale, which is 1-14, Roy scored a 1! Roy was delighted not to have anything physically wrong, but we had a really good chat about how he's going to occupy himself better while I'm away.... he probably needs to put a bit more structure around his week as it looks like I could be away for a while yet.
So I am really glad I got back in time for that appointment.

I watched Notes on a Scandal the other night. Liked it - I'd read the book so was interested to see how it would translate to film. I think the good acting helped it a lot. We were in Matalan because Roy is off on a golfing trip to Scotland this week (Mon-Fri) with his brother and 13 other guys. We found out last night that he needed to wear polo shirts at the golf club and also needed some more suitable trousers. So we got him a load of stuff at Matalan (1 pair long trousers, 2 pairs smart short, 3 tops and a baseball hat) all for about £60!I'm glad he's getting a break, I think me being away all week is starting to get him down but he won't ever moan about it. So, next Thursday we had tickets for an Elton John concert (my Xmas present to Roy!) but seeing that he's now away, I have donated them to my sister and her husband and told them to stay overnight at our house (the concert is nearer to here than her place). It will do her good - she hasn't had a break since Dad was ill, and her hubby is off work next week so I thought it would be nice for them to have some time together. At least when I come home at weekends I am totally away from things and can relax a bit. My sister lives 2 minutes drive from mum's house and so keeps "popping back" all the time (evenings, weekends). In June we're going to London to see the Sound of Music at the Palladium Theatre. I am going with my sister and my niece (my Christmas/B'day present for my niece!). Can't wait!